Phase 1: Walk 5x a Week

I feel more emotionally healthy than ever before, yet my weight is out of control.

It's amazing how little it takes for me to give up on things I really want in life. I'm competitive in nature but cannot stand to lose. Whether it's a job I desire, love in my heart, or weight loss, I have no endurance to get what I want. While I'm emotionally in a healthy place right now, and slowly on the road to being available to fall in love again, I cannot stand the sight of myself naked. At the same time I want a guy who can, which is totally unreasonable I know!

2009: A Year in Review

I got Wii Fit for Christmas 2008 and was religiously using it for some time. I went from 185lbs down to 170. Wii Fit became boring, and progress slowed down. Some might call this a plateau, I call it quitting time. After switching to beginner dance exercise videos, I realized that every instructor had targeted their videos for professional dancers. I have a hard enough time as it is, and one belly dance instructor has me attempting to do 100 individual butt lifts per minute. Unreal! Of course I put those aside too.

Finally I decided that walking was the key to success. It's a proven fact, but I like to do things the hard way. I went out and purchased another Nike sensor, since they die after a year or so of use, to get me back on the treadmill again. This was well intentioned for a while until I pushed my breaking point. My mind slammed me into a brick wall of doubt. "You didn't lose enough weight, run fast enough, walk long enough, eat healthy enough, etc." You would think I was a coach or an overbearing mother, but this is just me being a perfectionist and creating self sabotage. I ended up quitting because I missed a day of my ridiculous schedule and didn't know how I would ever make it up.

So here I am, back after missing a day, which turned into months. How pathetic I am!

At least now I have a goal and point of action. I want to lose weight, but more importantly I want to feel healthy. This past week I have felt like absolute shit. Speaking of which, I always feel bloated and constipated. I ate nothing but junk food because of the holiday season and am back to sleeping during the day. I never drink water and I'm starting to realize that I really need to detox my body. Well, I'm going to continue enjoying the holiday treats, while feeling absolutely sick over it because now is not the time to punish myself for long term mistreatment of my body. However, I will walk 5 times a week for an hour a day.

My goal on Nike is set to accomplish walking 5x a week for an hour a day until May. Hopefully I'll chose to continue this after May, but a goal consists of a beginning and end. I need to lose 50 lbs, and hopefully most of that will be taken care of in the process. I'll start to eat healthy in a week or two, but for now I'm announcing my plan of action to walk. I'll check the scale when I begin "Phase 2: Eat Healthy".

Leave a comment to keep me motivated and I'll add you and return the favor.