Week 2: Feeling Enlightened

My life is generally sedentary, but with recent exercise I would place myself a step above that. This week I continued my plan of action, smaller portions and less snacks. On days that I don't exercise, I don't seem to feel as hungry. While I didn't exercise every day this week, the 4 times I did so was at an increased speed of 3.2 mph for a total of 40 minutes each day. My knees have definitely felt the .2 difference and I'm considering walking at my previous 3 mph this week to let my muscles rest.

This week has been somewhat eventful for me. I went out 3x, in what could have been potentially stressful situations, and ended up having a thoroughly good time. On the 3rd of July I went to my sister's BBQ. She made less food than she normally does and I ended up eating less because of it. It also helped that I woke up late and didn't have breakfast at home, which is probably the reason why the second brownie didn't do any damage. Afterward, the group went to the movies to see Transformers 2 (great movie), and I only had a handful of popcorn.

On Sunday I went dress and swimsuit shopping, as I mentioned in the last post, which really put me in a good mood. It even caused me to venture outside of my comfort zone later in the night. My friends occasionally go to clubs along the shore where all of the heavy hitters go. By heavy hitters, I mean those that tan often, wear the latest trends, best hair styles, and have toned bodies. The idea of that alone usually makes me turn down any opportunity to go to the shore.

RANT: Guys and Weight Loss

I understand the obsession to look hot, as I have this obsession too, but those people that go around talking about it are sick self gratification seekers. When I was a size 5 I never sought attention, but appreciated the compliments when I got them. I didn't talk about weight loss, but if I had, at least it would have been slightly acceptable because that's a "girl thing" to do. When a guy obnoxiously flexes his muscles and discusses a protein shake or loses weight and discusses how much he weighs, it makes me sick. Too many people go around with that "look at me" attitude. Guys aren't supposed to be obsessed with losing weight and demanding attention. Whenever I hear a guy mention the word weight, I lose interest in him immediately. It's one thing if you are 20+lbs over weight. Even then I would rather the guy act like a teddy bear and lose the weight without a discussion.

The guys that really aggravate me are the ones who have nothing to lose. The more guys I talk to, the more I notice their sick obsession with self image. It's disgusting. Just like a guy doesn't want to hear about a girls period, that is the way I feel about guys talking about weight. Shut up or get lost! I never talk about weight even with my girl friends because I think weight conversations are selfish as in they are all about self. Guys who only want "self" conversations aren't datable.

End of discussion.

Conveniently after posting this rant, the episode of Family Guy where Peter becomes obsessed with his looks came on TV.

Despite my intimidation, I decided to drive an hour down the shore to join my friends and was able to just live completely in the moment. It's been a while since I felt that way. My happiness high from that night is still going forward although at a decreasing rate. I didn't feel judged like I do when I hang out on the Island, where everyone knows everyone. Maybe for me the shore is a mini vacation from reality, I just have to make sure I don't become a regular.

My actual vacation isn't coming at the best time. I'm feeling more social at the moment and a vacation for me tends to be a solitude journey, along with the family. My biggest concern about this vacation is that I'll be leaving on Friday morning and possibly gone until Wednesday. I'm going to have to find some way of making up for almost a weeks worth of missed time. I'm concerned that missed exercise and road trip dining will not only stunt my progress, but make me "fall off the wagon" altogether. I don't want to think about it too much at the moment though.

4th of July Bodies:

Jessica Simpson sporting an American Flag Bikini

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Clip of Megan Fox from Transformers 2

I used to be jealous of hot celebrity bodies, but I've decided to appreciate them because they were sculpted to look that way by dedicated individuals. I too would like to be a dedicated individual and will therefore use images of bodies that I admire to work toward my goal. When I want something unhealthy, I'll replace the image with a celebrity body that I wish to have and hopefully that will curb my hunger.

Anyone can be skinny at any age, you just need dedication and self control.

Week 2 resulted in 179.5 lbs.